I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
