Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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