I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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