She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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