as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
You can't just leave with hair like that
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
