GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
