Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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