dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
