lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
