It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
