I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
