Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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