I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
