I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
