Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
