Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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