if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
