we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
