I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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