whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
