seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
