but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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