I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Randomize
