so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
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