kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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