Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
