Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
