trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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