I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
