i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
