I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
