I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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