just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I think I am morally bankrupt
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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