and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
