is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
