I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
