dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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