it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
