you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
