the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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