You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
