i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i used baking grease as lip gloss
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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