i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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