do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
