if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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