I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
