I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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