After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
