Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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