I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I think weed is turning my hair brown
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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